Healing One Pattern at a Time

Good morning from the West Coast 🇵🇷

Just a friendly reminder that everything is transient, even these feelings

Everything is happening in your favor

Even if you can’t yet see it

You are supported

You are loved

You are valid

👁 

@rootsloveyoga Puerto Rico Retreat
What a work of art you have been

A couple of days before I traveled to PR, I started getting feelings of self doubt, anxiety, and deep sadness
I couldn’t shake it off

I boarded the flight anyways

I landed in San Juan with an intense migraine, nausea, and a knot of grief in the pit of my belly

I went straight to the beach
Looked towards the turquoise blue waters
Submerged myself fully
And let the water carry me
Flush out what I didn’t want anymore
Cleanse me of this outdated assumption
That i’m asking for too much
That i need to appease and negotiate personal sovereignty for the sake of the collective

I stayed until body walked to shore
Headache fully dissipated
I drove myself to the studio
And reconnected with the local women
Doing the work
Open to new experiences
New cues
New ways of understanding their bodies, breath, and everything in between

The next day I arrive in Rincón
The place I always wanted to live in
Before everything happened

The place I dreamt of owning my estate
My shala
Raising my family
And laying low as much as spirit needs

Our retreat house was stunning
Is stunning
Grounding in its panoramic beauty

Slowly,
retreat participants started trickling in
Beaming
Smiling from ear to ear
I could sense they get it
They love this island
As much as I do

We practiced 2 a days
Journaling
Meditating
Breathing with one another

In the sun
In the rain
In the spaces between the songs of the coquis

On the last day
I realized
This is the place
I want to return

Slowly memory felt safe enough to trickle in

This is the place
where he humiliated me years ago
And i wilted
In front of hundreds of people
i stayed silent throughout the entire experience

How the fuck did I forget about this location?
How is memory not stuck inside of me?

For years I paired this experience with this coast
But it wasn’t there any more
The memory lost its charge
And its impact in the way I tell my story
The way I understand
Family
Friends
True love
And really, myself

Healing one pattern at a time 💌